Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Waves

So far away but I can see

Whats supposed to be the other half

It is he

Over there I see the shore

But I am here

And not sure what for

A boat I have for my play

But can't catch a wave

Or break today

The thing that brings the wind

Eludes me still

But I pray to send

The thing that makes a ring

Moves this forward

With hope it brings

But here I stand

So far from there

All I want is to hold his hand

The journey is what this is about

Wait we must

And go without

But journey and wait are one the same

So painful

But wait is what's to blame

So I wait for the wave

That lifts my boat

Drifts into the arms I crave

Monday, September 29, 2008

I need one of these



And if you are unfamiliar with what makes this GREAT, peep this stellar performance by my favorite man's man actor, Mr. Ferrell.

I will also take this opportunity to pimp out his equally amazing site, Funny or Die.

Sylar, I am your mutha...





WTF? Okay last week I was shaking my head when they ended that way but tonight I am reminded...EXPLAIN please!

UGH.

So Peter and him MUST be twins huh? There are similarities in their abilities.

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Bush Smoked Crack For Two Years

I was slightly annoyed last night when my regular TV viewing was interrupted with the "special report" in which Bush chose to outline the reasons our economy is in trouble. I will remind you, this is the same guy that in February said we weren't in a recession we were in a "slowdown."

Maybe I don't understand the difference in those two terms or how you go to a "slowdown" to a 700 billion dollar bailout in 8 months?

Maybe the bigger question is where the fuck has he been living the past two years? I don't know anyone without financial woes and shrinking paychecks. People are out of work, juggling bills, letting some go to feed their kids. I already downsized my house and I still struggle every pay day. I volunteer at my church once a month to feed the homeless. At the beginning of the year, there were maybe 25 people. This last weekend they served over 120. Before you continue to have a vision of the homeless as simply drugged up and lazy, I will tell you that there are former military and women with children in there everytime. Regular people that look no different than you and I. It is a tragedy what is happening in what used to be the greatest nation on the planet.

AND NOW we can't get through a bill funding soldiers pay AND we are reassigning troops to work at home to scare the shit out of civilians but its perfectly acceptable to bail out rich gamblers who shot their wad on Wall Street and you and I have to clean up the streets?

Fuck that. If another Republican wins this election cycle, I am moving out of the country. I am embarrassed to see the priorities the Administration feels are important and watching regularly ordinary people collapse under the weight of what is happening to them.


NOTE TO THE WORLD: All Americans are not as stupid as the ones running our country. Just half of them are.


Don't blame me, I vote a straight Democratic ticket every fucking time


Oh yeah, let's not forget Too-Many-Houses-McCain can't show up for a debate because he is now suddenly overcome with the plight of people like me.

If you believe that, I have some property to sell you in Arizona.

Monday, September 22, 2008

Just one of the reasons I have the best kids ever...




So sweet middle monkey posts a heartfelt blog about her friends, sometimes friends and then makes me cry when I saw this:


Mommy♥

I've known her for about 15 years of my life and I must say, she is the most interesting person I've ever met. She has this insane urge to never give up hope that tomorrow will be better. I hope some of her super cool parenting techniques rub off on me so when I have daughters, I can raise them like she raised me. She's been through alot this year [trust me, I know] yet she still manages to wake up everyday and keep going. She's a pretty badass lady and I think she's cool.
:]

Kevin♥

Kevin, you're weird and you are kind of annoying sometimes. If it wasn't for you, I'm not sure what would have happened to my mom and I never want to find out. You've made her happier than I've seen her in years. You've given her something to look forward to, the day she gets to just be with you. She laughs alot more now and the general mood around the house is a very nice one that I like alot. She is trying very hard to be patient so you should tell her that you love her all the time and tell her funny stories. The kind that you think about hours later and just bust out laughing and embarass yourself in front of everyone, okay?
:]


So glad I'm a mom! Woo hoo!

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

lonely

Sad, silly strange things float by. Lost the sweetness of your voice without being able to say things I should. I am not the one that gets the call, noone knows to find me. Hide away inside my head wishing Life were easier. Everything is uphill so I keep sliding back. Want to feel solid ground but instead I walk on water, yet with out the benefit of being holy or revered. Only me, lonely me, so afraid and misunderstood.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Friday, September 12, 2008

I jumped off the ledge today..

Come on, don't be sccuurrddd. You know you wanna...

NANOWRIMO

Do it with me so I will have someone to complain every day for thirty days with. Hehehe

I am going to write about intensely personal and painful life events. If you were writing the great American novel, what would you write about?

Thursday, September 11, 2008

I HAVE A QUESTION

Do you regret things? I never had and now find myself second guessing my self more than usual. Is this a weird product of getting older? I have always tried to make the best decisions I could with information that I had at the time so that I NEVER regret anything I do. It seems like wasted energy.

Maybe I am weird or completely lack a conscience.

Maybe now I have self-esteem issues because I am even having this thought.

UGH.

Maybe I have never had a conscience and always had self-esteem problems and it's starting to catch up with me.

Being a grown up sucks. I want to go back to kindergarten. Naps and afternoon snacks rock.

::this is me, sitting here, pouting::

Rain makes me stupid. I love rain and love being stupid, but there you go.

Stupid, conscience lacking old woman with self-esteem problems.

What fun.

Hiding

it is today the thing of dreams
circle 'round the bend
that makes is all come again
more than I could mend

things will break and stuff will shatter
making life seem hard
but just a breath, a thought away
finds the missing shard

a puzzle is all it's meant to be
no worries love for now
find the parts one by one
without the worry of how

lessons come hard and fast
without concern for timing
so work away to fit the pieces
and i will hide here rhyming

Jonas Brothers Drama

I will admit, we are a bit obsessed in this household. If you don't know who they are, clearly you have been living under a rock. I also collect monkeys. Not actual monkeys or reasonable facsimiles of monkeys but kids I love, whether I gave birth to them or not. One of our commonalities theses days is Jo Bro Drama.

Silly Monkey - Joe Jonas is dating Taylor Swift and the Jonas camp has just confirmed this.

QOTU - hey Middle Monkey, just got this from Silly Monkey

Middle Monkey - Taylor Swift is a whore.


Now assume you didn't already know. Which Monkey did I give birth to? Makes a mama proud! I don't care who you are, that's just funny. I will add that the other day she walked up next to me, fishing through the bread basket, and popped out with "Where's my effing Chex Mix?" of course not substituting "effing" but instead providing its ear ringing root word. I nearly choked on my food. What makes this less shocking and more funny to me is that she doesn't REALIZE what she said, she is too spontaneous. (is there really such a thing?) She will swear afterwards that isn't what she said. I don't care who you are, that's funny. :)

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Funny Little Monkey

At the breakfast table:

Little Monkey says-I wish you could just write so you don't have to go do real work.

A chuckle from me and:

QOTU-Honey, writing is real work.

An exasperated sigh and:

Little Monkey says-I know but this you could do from HOME so we can do fun stuff in the afternoons.
I agree, fun afternoons would be nice...

Monday, September 1, 2008

this week in history...

Wow. So this week I turn 40. Weird. I can remember my parents turning 40 and it was no big deal but now I am the parent. I haven't quite figured out what it means to me but I know it's prompted a significant amount of self-reflection. I haven't decided if that's cliche or totally expected. I have been working to change some things in my life since I passed the 39 year old hump and realized I didn't like the the things I saw. I had things I wanted to experience, people still to meet, places to go and foods to try. I settled too much in my relationship, my job, my personal development that I no longer recognized the person I became nor was I willing to let my kids believe that was an acceptable life path. You always want better for your kids but how often do you mirror what you expect them to do with their lives? Compromise is good. Completely letting the world wear you down is not. Hopefully they are learning lessons from me as I go and not waiting until they are 40 to figure out this craziness.

40.

WOW.

So, I had the foresight to put in for this week off work several months ago. I wasn't sure what I would be doing but I knew sitting at my desk at work just seemed less important than that particular milestone should be. I had no idea all the things life would throw at me after that or how they all would line up to bring me to this wonderful week. I am so thankful that my time will be spent quietly with a wonderful soul that I love deeply.

Life is good. Even at the ripe old age of 40. :)