YES WE CAN!

For those of you that remember, I am in full swing with the likely the most insane writing project I have ever undertaken. I am and will be out of touch, unable to be reached and generally under a rock until the conclusion of said project at midnight on November 30th. The subject matter I chose to write has proved harder than expected but I assume the journey is what it is about really. Hopefully I will learn something profound that I can share later.

I must pause now to declare a great big "WOO HOO" for the victory heard 'round the world last night. It was good for the first time in eight years to cry tears of joy rather than disbelief. While I am always vocal in my opinions, it was nice to see that people woke up, participated and committed to change from the way things have gone before. I am hopeful now for the future of my children in a way I had lost over the last administration. My prayers are with the new President elect as he begins the daunting task of cleaning up the world wide missteps and chaos facing him this morning.

God Bless America.

Back to previous programing. Check out the new Weezer, my current writing sound track of choice. Below is my new favorite jam. Catch you on the flip side of November!

Thought I knew
WEEZER

Sorry
About my past life
Sorry
But we just missed
Sorry it had to end up
Like this

Sorry
If I caused you pain
Sorry
I forgot your name
Sorry
But you left me out
In the rain

Thought I knew
You better than
Thought I knew
Your intentions
Thought I knew
But I didn't have
A clue
Not a single damn thing
Was true

Sorry
If I caused you harm
Sorry
I'm no good luck charm
Sorry
You didn't end up
In my arms

Thought I knew
You better than
Thought I knew
Your intentions
Thought I knew
But I didn't have
A clue
Not a single damn thing
Was true

Now that I
World's gone down
We've traded away
Blew out the spark
And now we're left
With broken hearts
Tryin' to find
A new place to start

Thought I knew
You better than
Thought I knew
Your intentions
Thought I knew
But I didn't have
A clue
Not a single damn thing
Was true

so funny, I nearly puked...

If you are one of the few losers that didn't watch Saturday Night Live this weekend, make sure you check out Amy's killer rap while Palin looks on.

That's some funny shit. At least Sarah's got a sense of humor.

Little Monkey Knows

That's how you know a monkey loves you...they give you your favorite flower.

:)

Life is good.

Tulips are my favorite...

The wrinkles around your eyes remind me that we are old
But the way they smile when you look at me makes me not care

Nothing can describe the way it feels
To lace my fingers in yours

The ease in my heart, the peace that has settled there
Belongs to you

I can’t imagine it being another way
Like we have always been in this place

Everything is right with the world
Even the things that aren’t because you are here

It is the most spectacular moment at the beginning of forever
Joy and Bliss have nothing on this

Darn Right, Main Streeters!

Dad-I apologize how much you won't like the things I say here, but come one, you gotta admit she's not the sharpest ice pick in the igloo. (you like that folks? see I can pull a Palin and give a well placed shout out at any time too!)

Since you may not know me well, I will let you know that politics is a spectator sport for my family so all of us, in the room, online and via text have been eating this up tonight.

WOW.

Where to start.

To quote Little Brother, I am gonna do this Biden style, "bullet point, bullet point, bullet point."

* Middle Monkey points out immediately that Gwen's jacket looks like it was made with a bedspread from La Quinta.

* Dude, she started pointing at him when she got upset...kinda bad form but what do I know, I live in a town with 6,145,037 people, I'm not not running a state of less than 700,000. Maybe that plays well in Chickaloon?

* Why is she only referencing McCain's experience? OH YEAH, I FORGOT...

* I take serious offence to the characterization of middle America as "Joe Six Packs"...the beer I drink is WAY to expensive to come in six packs with plastic rings holding it together. Good God woman!

* Good call for Joe correcting her on the Barack vote where he voted the same as McCain and reminding her she didn't answer the question...BOOYAH.

* Good call for Joe reminding everyone of the ridiculous tax breaks that oil companies continue to get with support from the right wing freaks in this country.

* NICE! Sarah sounds the "kill foreign aid" bell that Repubs love to throw around but use to buy favors and influence everyday around the world, secretly, in back room deals with third world countries, just like it should be, 1940's style. And, as the wealthiest nation in the world aren't we still spending less than 3% of our budget on that? ::shrugs shoulders::

* Lets be clear, Dems support no further Federal intervention in civil unions...Repubs want to outlaw gay marriage. Big difference...even though you would like to make it seem similar, Ms. Big-Giant-Flag-Pin-Wearing Palin.

* Pointing out said pin, Monkeys Middle and Judgemental ask, with all that bling, where's her grill and her medallion?

* OMG did she just say the "Talibany" is in Iraq? That's officially the new boogie man in this house. Be good kids or the Talibany will come get you!

* What's with the conservative accent Monkeys ask? Again with the nuclear? Did no one cover that in the briefing?

* I think she called the leaders of Cuba the "Castrol Brothers"...

* Good point Joe, no difference in the McCain position and the Bush Administration.

* Middle Monkey serves another great point, she is a cheerleader for McCain. That's why he picked her.

* Okay, really, a shout out to the third graders back home? I thought the pointing was bad form but I am thinking that is kinda tacky. Of course if they are registered voters in Alaska, more power to her for the rally of the troops.

UPDATE: Great point by Brandon that I forgot to mention, it's not MCCLELLAN...

Seriously, I could do this all night. I don't like her, not one bit. My advise to Sarah? Go run the Iditarod bitch...there is some serious shit to be done here and NOW, especially NOW, I have no confidence AT ALL you can run this country when McCain is compromised. In fact, it scares the hell out of me that you would get that chance.

Pre-debate blogging by Middle Monkey was note-worthy as well...(yes, I am so proud):

Let me enlighten you on why Sarah Palin is totally ill equipped to help John McCain run this country.


1) She's conservative! Very large character flaw, right there.


2) She's the governor of Alaska. Alaska! Population of: 670,053.

How the hell is she going to govern 305,318,288 people?
She might be a very nice woman.

I'm not sure, I've never met her.

But she is already waaay in over her head.


3) She is completely ignorant on obviously important issues in the United States today.

Case in point: Katie Couric's interview.

She doesn't read newspapers?
She's going to be the Vice President of the United States and she doesn't even read her LOCAL newspapers?
Also.

I, as a 15 year old Sophomore, know more about important Supreme Court Decisions than Sarah Palin.

I am more qualified to be the Vice President than she is.

Even if she wasn't the VP nominee, as a WOMAN she should know those things.

She doesn't have a stand on the Roe v.
Wade decision?
What?

OhmiGOD.

I am going to run for president as soon as I turn 35.

Because obviously people right now have no idea what is going on.


Fuck, you guys...
I feel so helpless to fix things.

But I'm gonna.

This election has inspired me to change the world.

Mercury in Retrograde

Well, that explains it. I feel so much better now. I was beginning to think that everyone had gone nuts.

Wait.

We all are nuts already. Shouldn't the ever popular Retro Mercury then balance us out? Where is Psychobillygirl and her medical musings when we need them? Oh yeah, her broken toe ass is seeing dwarfs in trench coats on the side of the road, I haven't sleep in nearly a week, save a few minutes for my own border line psychotic dreams, and all my monkeys are fighting with friends, siblings and significant others. Congress can't make up it's mind, tonight we will be treated to the spectacle of the election cycle and I am still waiting for what will be a spectacular October surprise.

These fun and games are supposed to go through October 15th.

WOO HOO!

I can only imagine what else is in store for me...I can't wait!

Waves

So far away but I can see

Whats supposed to be the other half

It is he

Over there I see the shore

But I am here

And not sure what for

A boat I have for my play

But can't catch a wave

Or break today

The thing that brings the wind

Eludes me still

But I pray to send

The thing that makes a ring

Moves this forward

With hope it brings

But here I stand

So far from there

All I want is to hold his hand

The journey is what this is about

Wait we must

And go without

But journey and wait are one the same

So painful

But wait is what's to blame

So I wait for the wave

That lifts my boat

Drifts into the arms I crave

I need one of these

And if you are unfamiliar with what makes this GREAT, peep this stellar performance by my favorite man's man actor, Mr. Ferrell.

I will also take this opportunity to pimp out his equally amazing site, Funny or Die.

Sylar, I am your mutha...

WTF? Okay last week I was shaking my head when they ended that way but tonight I am reminded...EXPLAIN please!

UGH.

So Peter and him MUST be twins huh? There are similarities in their abilities.

Bush Smoked Crack For Two Years

I was slightly annoyed last night when my regular TV viewing was interrupted with the "special report" in which Bush chose to outline the reasons our economy is in trouble. I will remind you, this is the same guy that in February said we weren't in a recession we were in a "slowdown."

Maybe I don't understand the difference in those two terms or how you go to a "slowdown" to a 700 billion dollar bailout in 8 months?

Maybe the bigger question is where the fuck has he been living the past two years? I don't know anyone without financial woes and shrinking paychecks. People are out of work, juggling bills, letting some go to feed their kids. I already downsized my house and I still struggle every pay day. I volunteer at my church once a month to feed the homeless. At the beginning of the year, there were maybe 25 people. This last weekend they served over 120. Before you continue to have a vision of the homeless as simply drugged up and lazy, I will tell you that there are former military and women with children in there everytime. Regular people that look no different than you and I. It is a tragedy what is happening in what used to be the greatest nation on the planet.

AND NOW we can't get through a bill funding soldiers pay AND we are reassigning troops to work at home to scare the shit out of civilians but its perfectly acceptable to bail out rich gamblers who shot their wad on Wall Street and you and I have to clean up the streets?

Fuck that. If another Republican wins this election cycle, I am moving out of the country. I am embarrassed to see the priorities the Administration feels are important and watching regularly ordinary people collapse under the weight of what is happening to them.


NOTE TO THE WORLD: All Americans are not as stupid as the ones running our country. Just half of them are.


Don't blame me, I vote a straight Democratic ticket every fucking time


Oh yeah, let's not forget Too-Many-Houses-McCain can't show up for a debate because he is now suddenly overcome with the plight of people like me.

If you believe that, I have some property to sell you in Arizona.

Just one of the reasons I have the best kids ever...

So sweet middle monkey posts a heartfelt blog about her friends, sometimes friends and then makes me cry when I saw this:

Mommy♥

I've known her for about 15 years of my life and I must say, she is the most interesting person I've ever met. She has this insane urge to never give up hope that tomorrow will be better. I hope some of her super cool parenting techniques rub off on me so when I have daughters, I can raise them like she raised me. She's been through alot this year [trust me, I know] yet she still manages to wake up everyday and keep going. She's a pretty badass lady and I think she's cool.
:]

Kevin♥

Kevin, you're weird and you are kind of annoying sometimes. If it wasn't for you, I'm not sure what would have happened to my mom and I never want to find out. You've made her happier than I've seen her in years. You've given her something to look forward to, the day she gets to just be with you. She laughs alot more now and the general mood around the house is a very nice one that I like alot. She is trying very hard to be patient so you should tell her that you love her all the time and tell her funny stories. The kind that you think about hours later and just bust out laughing and embarass yourself in front of everyone, okay?
:]

So glad I'm a mom! Woo hoo!

lonely

Sad, silly strange things float by. Lost the sweetness of your voice without being able to say things I should. I am not the one that gets the call, noone knows to find me. Hide away inside my head wishing Life were easier. Everything is uphill so I keep sliding back. Want to feel solid ground but instead I walk on water, yet with out the benefit of being holy or revered. Only me, lonely me, so afraid and misunderstood.

Palin Baby Name Generator

This is one of those days where I laugh hard because I love politics and crap like this that comes out of it.

My name would be Pump Bust Palin. What's yours? ROTFLMAO

Blue October

If you are not a fan, become one now.

Seriously, your life depends on it.

I promise and I never lie.

Stop laughing.

:)

MY MOST FAVORITE PERSON EVER

ENOUGH SAID

:)

I jumped off the ledge today..

Come on, don't be sccuurrddd. You know you wanna...

NANOWRIMO

Do it with me so I will have someone to complain every day for thirty days with. Hehehe

I am going to write about intensely personal and painful life events. If you were writing the great American novel, what would you write about?

I HAVE A QUESTION

Do you regret things? I never had and now find myself second guessing my self more than usual. Is this a weird product of getting older? I have always tried to make the best decisions I could with information that I had at the time so that I NEVER regret anything I do. It seems like wasted energy.

Maybe I am weird or completely lack a conscience.

Maybe now I have self-esteem issues because I am even having this thought.

UGH.

Maybe I have never had a conscience and always had self-esteem problems and it's starting to catch up with me.

Being a grown up sucks. I want to go back to kindergarten. Naps and afternoon snacks rock.

::this is me, sitting here, pouting::

Rain makes me stupid. I love rain and love being stupid, but there you go.

Stupid, conscience lacking old woman with self-esteem problems.

What fun.

Hiding

it is today the thing of dreams
circle 'round the bend
that makes is all come again
more than I could mend

things will break and stuff will shatter
making life seem hard
but just a breath, a thought away
finds the missing shard

a puzzle is all it's meant to be
no worries love for now
find the parts one by one
without the worry of how

lessons come hard and fast
without concern for timing
so work away to fit the pieces
and i will hide here rhyming

Jonas Brothers Drama

I will admit, we are a bit obsessed in this household. If you don't know who they are, clearly you have been living under a rock. I also collect monkeys. Not actual monkeys or reasonable facsimiles of monkeys but kids I love, whether I gave birth to them or not. One of our commonalities theses days is Jo Bro Drama.

Silly Monkey - Joe Jonas is dating Taylor Swift and the Jonas camp has just confirmed this.

QOTU - hey Middle Monkey, just got this from Silly Monkey

Middle Monkey - Taylor Swift is a whore.

Now assume you didn't already know. Which Monkey did I give birth to? Makes a mama proud! I don't care who you are, that's just funny. I will add that the other day she walked up next to me, fishing through the bread basket, and popped out with "Where's my effing Chex Mix?" of course not substituting "effing" but instead providing its ear ringing root word. I nearly choked on my food. What makes this less shocking and more funny to me is that she doesn't REALIZE what she said, she is too spontaneous. (is there really such a thing?) She will swear afterwards that isn't what she said. I don't care who you are, that's funny. :)

Funny Little Monkey

At the breakfast table:

Little Monkey says-I wish you could just write so you don't have to go do real work.

A chuckle from me and:

QOTU-Honey, writing is real work.

An exasperated sigh and:

Little Monkey says-I know but this you could do from HOME so we can do fun stuff in the afternoons.

I agree, fun afternoons would be nice...

this week in history...

Wow. So this week I turn 40. Weird. I can remember my parents turning 40 and it was no big deal but now I am the parent. I haven't quite figured out what it means to me but I know it's prompted a significant amount of self-reflection. I haven't decided if that's cliche or totally expected. I have been working to change some things in my life since I passed the 39 year old hump and realized I didn't like the the things I saw. I had things I wanted to experience, people still to meet, places to go and foods to try. I settled too much in my relationship, my job, my personal development that I no longer recognized the person I became nor was I willing to let my kids believe that was an acceptable life path. You always want better for your kids but how often do you mirror what you expect them to do with their lives? Compromise is good. Completely letting the world wear you down is not. Hopefully they are learning lessons from me as I go and not waiting until they are 40 to figure out this craziness.

40.

WOW.

So, I had the foresight to put in for this week off work several months ago. I wasn't sure what I would be doing but I knew sitting at my desk at work just seemed less important than that particular milestone should be. I had no idea all the things life would throw at me after that or how they all would line up to bring me to this wonderful week. I am so thankful that my time will be spent quietly with a wonderful soul that I love deeply.

Life is good. Even at the ripe old age of 40. :)

ONE THAT I DON'T EVEN OWN, I RENT

McCain is stoopid, like Middle Monkey says, the kind of stupid you have to spell wrong...

Ch-ch-ch-check it out...

wicky-wicky-wicky

It's funny.

If you don't think it's funny, eff you.

I am always right.

Get used to it.

Show Psychobillygirl some love.

A Friday Morning Conversation With The Queen

Dude, we gotta take some pics next weekend...

I AM IN BLOG LOVE...

But this is precisely why you don't drink and blog:





I am constantly in awe of the delicately chosen words and beautiful imagery. Seriously, go away from us, this band of monkeys, Gypsies and scoundrels. Leave this place and go float along with the song of his page...



Kisses for you Ginga! MUAH!

SAY WHAT YOU WANT

Hollywood can be a bitch and it turns people rotten and cold but to see a story like this today, it just warms my heart. I think this kind of thing shows the humanity people can exhibit when touched by a special person. Matilda is a lucky girl to have such gifted angels in her life.

I WOULD CHANGE

*nothing about my life because it’s how I got where I am now.

*the shape of my body so I could confidently walk, completely naked, into the street and think nothing of it. :)

*the color of the paint on my walls every six months if that were not horribly inconvenient.

*the time I lost away from old friends because they complete my life in so many ways.

*how easily I stop talking when I know that the thing I am about to say is likely going to hurt someone.

*the perception that I am uber-strong and confident all the time so that people will realize sometimes, I just need a hug.

*the fact that we live in a world where too many people are not afforded basic human rights, whether it due to famine, bigotry, homophobia, religious fundamentalism, our own government…

*the fact that children go to bed hungry in one of the wealthiest nations in the world.

*that I neglected to tell important people how much they meant to me when I had the chance.

Most Nerdiriffic Text Message I Have Ever Sent!

7:36 AM Del Toro is working with Jackson on The Hobbit movies. WOO HOO!

Best freakin' response I have ever gotten:

7:50 AM Also, the earth is round and coke classic is back. You just now heard this? :P

To wit I reply:

7:51 AM I know, right? I have been under a rock and nearly had a wreck! U have time for lunch tomorrow?

Many thanks to RandomRage for serving up a plate of fresh, cold ridicule so early in the morning. What I MEANT TO SAY is that the project is no longer stalled and is actually MOVING FORWARD. The lack of which previously caused many to write the project off to speculation or legend as it were. I am currently a MASSIVE Del Toro fan so this is just icing on the cake of my movie life.

Yeah for nerds.

Still

So quiet now I can hear the thought jump from one to another

Connecting pieces of my life in ways

I didn’t remember before today

Happiness was something other people did

Not the reality

Of my quiet existence

But now it is still

Quiet

Inside my soul, my head, my heart

No need for restlessness

As each thought finds its home

In the quiet joy

Silent bliss

Peaceful wonders of my heart

I AM SO GLAD I AM A MOM

I love my babies...:) Judgemental monkey is never around any more though...BLAH. He's all "grown up" and stuff. That is the stuff that makes me so proud and sad at the time. Being a mom is so cool.

I HAVE

Seen the sunrise over Stratford-Upon-Avon and watched a Royal Shakespeare Company production there after sunset…

Witnessed with my own eyes the Birth of Venus and Michaelango’s David in Florence…

Drank a glass of champagne on the Ponte Vecchico…

Been devastated by the destruction of a mind from Alzheimer’s…

Yelled with the crowds cheer at a bullfight in Barcelona…

Seen the pain people can inflict on one another…

Seen the Last Supper in a damp monastery in Milan…

Heard someone lie…

Stood in the rain as it washed across the deck of a ferry while crossing the English Channel at night…

Known someone to cheat…

Greeted the sunrise on the White Cliffs of Dover…

Watched someone commit a crime…

Gazed at the city lights of Munich and stopped long enough to enjoy a beer…

Been present at the death of a stranger on a lonely highway…

Given birth to three amazing children…

Known a rapist…

Done a brass rubbing in Westminster Abbey…

Eaten dinner with a murderer…

Stood in the aisles at Canterbury…

Had someone mistake me for someone else…

Attended a Christmas Mass at a Catholic church…

Had someone try to change me…

Walked in a Gay Pride parade…

Had someone accept me for exactly who I am…

Done an interview on BBC radio…

Been in love and been loved in return only once in my lifetime…

Filmed a commercial…

Been on the set of a movie in production and attended a Vanity Fair photo shoot…

Lied to someone…

Been a National Delegate for the Democratic Party…

Cheated on someone…

Gazed in amazement at the work in the Van Gogh museum in Amsterdam…

Been to a beach on the Mediterranean Sea, Atlantic Ocean, Pacific Ocean, and the Gulf of Mexico…

Ridiculed someone…

Lived through the pain of an alcoholic parent…

Met a great General whom I admire…

Hated someone…

Flown to a swing state to block walk the week of early voting…

Lusted after someone…

Stood on the Alps in Switzerland…

Levied revenge upon someone…

Had a spiritual experience that changed my life…

Have seen the tulips in Holland…

Had a picnic lunch at the Painted Desert…

Ordered room service at the Four Seasons for a pint of Ben & Jerry’s Chunky Monkey…

Won and lost money in Las Vegas…

Known future Congressmen, Governors, Senators…

Always been homesick for the state of my birth…

Attended the opening season game for my favorite SEC team…

Been to the Birthing Stones in Wahiawa…

Stood in a rainforest in Costa Rica…

Been to Capitol Hill and stood on the floor of the Senate, contemplating hooking all the paper clips on Kay Bailey Hutchison’s desk together in a chain and putting them back in the holder…

Had too much to drink too many times…

Called my Little Sis from the bathroom of a Representative to Congress’s house…

Taken Improv classes…

Gone to school to be a Massage Therapist…

Gotten tattooed and pierced…

Died my hair five different colors at the same time…

Written stories that I never share…

Road tripped across the lower part of the US, east to west…

Worked for people I hated…

Said things I did not mean…



Life is not a test drive. It’s your one time shot to get it right while you are here right NOW. Not all of it is fun and a bunch of stuff you will totally screw up, trust me. I am still adding to my list, every day. Things I am not proud of and things I just can’t wait to do again. I am constantly seeking opportunities to change someone’s life or my own just by doing something different than the usual.

What are you doing today? Get up, get moving, do something great.

now i remember why i didn't like highschool...

Rules.

Rules suck. I am reminded of that as I entertain myself on my Blackberry standing in a hall way full of loud Sophomores. Fill out these pages. No, I can't give you this form until you complete those. Ok, I'm done, can I have that page now? Uh, no we haven't started yet. So I will have to get back in line to wait for a form that I could get from you now? Yes, those are the rules.

Loud screech on th PA system. IF YOU ARE NOT WITHIN DRESS CODE, YOU WILL NOT BE PERMITTED ENTRANCE. THOSE ARE THE RULES.

So me, a walking contradiction to the dress code, feels like I did the first day I went to high school so many moons ago.

JUDGED.

So now I have to worry about my tattoos, piercings and clothes? As an adult? Eff the rules. Eff high school.

I took off my stripper shoes in lieu of my flip flops before I came in. WTF? I can't change who I am.

Quite honestly, even if I could I wouldn't. I rock.

Screw the rules!

Not in a Catholic High School, you won't!

Judgmental Monkey has been working hard this summer on a local theater company production of “Narnia”. He’s learning great things, making new friends and pushing himself out of his comfort zone. This is one of those times when I can say I am SO proud to be his mom. I went to opening day with the girl monkeys, Little Sis and Psychobillygirl. (note to self, we should never be allowed to sit in a row together again, particularly with me in the middle.) This is also one of those times that I can say I am SO sorry for him that he is in this family…ROTFLMAO.

Little Sis “Why the hell does Aslan look like Alice Cooper?”

Queen ::repeats via whispers to Psychobillygirl, promptly begin to laugh hysterically out loud::

Aslan ::starts singing very serious song::

Trio of harpies ::starts singing ‘Schools Out For Summer’::

Queen ::hands grasped so tightly across her mouth that she cannot breathe so subsequently gasps for air, LOUDLY.:: "OMG you guys, we are gonna go to hell for this…but really, he's the main character, shouldn't his costume be better?"

Psychobillygirl “He is really more of a Bob Marley zombie.”

Queen ::repeats via whispers to Little Sis, again, more laughing::

Girl Monkeys “Ssssshhhh, you are embarrassing us. What is so funny?”

Little Sis ::repeats via whispers to Middle Monkey who proceeds to laugh out loud::

Psychobillygirl “Now that I think of it, his mane kinda looks like Dee Snyders hair from Twisted Sister.” ::feels necessary to illustrate this with belting out a Twisted Sister song:

Back row of losers ::raucous laughter inappropriately when the lion is going to be killed::

Queen “We are so gonna get thrown out of this place.”

Psychobillygirl “NOW I HAVE IT, it’s the lions costume from the Wiz!”

Queen ::nearly pukes laughing so hard and trying to hold it in::

Back row of losers ::quickly degenerate into heckling fools laughing at inappropriate moments and pondering how an actual zombie, vampire and some wretched very large woman in purple with green hair get written into a story paralleling the Crucifixion::

SERIOUSLY, be forewarned. You can NOT take us any where. Okay, well, any where you have NO intentions of having any fun. It's so much fun being a role model, DAMN I love this stuff...:)

I LOVE THE 80s!

As Psychobillygirl will tell you, the 80's have a great deal of redeeming value. In retrospect, I guess I think so too. I think back to things then that seemed so much simpler than how life turned out. I hope its not a change in the world all together and just me needing to get back to where I was...or maybe who I was, not necessarily in that place anymore. It's cool though, finding things out about yourself that were always there...comforting really.

Now if someone can just explain to me, what were we thinking with big glasses and acid wash denim? Not the best of the 80's...ROTFLMAO.



UPDATE: NOW MY CHALLENGE TO ALL OF YOU IS TO POST AN 80S FLASHBACK OF YOUR OWN...COME ON GINGA, YOU KNOW YOU WANNA!

Do I have to pick just one?

This week, my Cleveland buddy asked for my top 10 list for movies. Immediately I freak out, what are my top 10 favorites? UGH. I have very few all time favs, mostly my favs right now but do I just have to pick ten? I had this dilemma in Improv class a few months back when we played a game (the particulars of which are of no consequence to most of you) but it began with a simple question:..



What's your favorite movie?



Right, you are laughing aren't you? Those of you that know me, recognize that this is no simple question as I watch what would be considered an obscene amount of movies (being unable to sleep certainly helps). My immediate answer was a standard, of course, kind of answer, "The Wizard of Oz". I mean, it has everything, witches, kick ass shoes, flying monkeys and midgets, what's not to love? I have watched that movie every year since the beginning of time as I know it. While many girls got caught up in tales with princes and happily ever after, I loved the terror, the unexpected and the fantasy that unfolds over a story that, at first, seems to be about shoes. As an adult, discovering the books "Wicked" and "Son of a Witch" made the world even more real and distant. I feel more at home with the strange and magical than any traditional story (I mean come on, I am a girl with "Zombie Survival Guide" by my bed just in case I find myself unexpectedly awaken by a throng of pissed off undead). My parents tell me I watch "weird" movies, I think there is a big pot/kettle tale in there, but, I digress. It's been a while since I have done a favorites blog...today, a list for you (in no particular order to my liking) to add to your Netflix list...enjoy!



1. Juno - Saw this and thought it was clever and interesting/Jason Bateman is hot and a little creepy here


2. Stardust - a beautiful love story that straddles two worlds/I am a bit biased as the hero is named Tristan


3. Across The Universe - I always respected the Beatles place in history but this movie made me a true friend/where the group was essentially a three cord max, the rearrangement and spectacular music put behind the lyrics highlights their beauty


4. Sweeny Todd - I do enjoy an unusual movie and musicals so combined, this is golden/Johnny Depp is so haunting as a singer, I bought the soundtrack. Since this is the "musical catagory" I am also submitting for your approval Mamma Mia! I took the girls yesterday...UNBELIEVABLE! Everyone in the theater was singing and dancing by the end...pure magic.


5. Reservoir Dogs - I am an obsessive Tarantino fan…this is my favorite/Michael Madsen's dance is one of the best and most horrific scenes in any movie I have ever seen


6. The Air I Breathe - A series of shorts linked together by over lapping character in a study on emotion. So sad and sweet at the same time, complicated and so beautiful when they bring it together in the end.


7. Pan's Labyrinth - miraculous imagery, this movie make me think for DAYS afterwards. I will also add here my other Del Toro fav, The Orphange...OMG. Would you loosers PLEASE go watch this movie so I can talk with someone about the ending?


8. 28 Days Later - I am a big movie monster fan, this is one of my most favorites (and a close tie with Bubba Ho-tep)


9. Children of Men - There is so much I could say about this movie and none of it would capture a moment of this end of the world portrait/I admit I wept for several minutes as the warring factions heard the cry of the baby..powerful


10. A Very Long Engagement - This movie is one of the reasons I adore foreign films…American movies tend to like to wrap things up in tidy little bows at the end and I find French films are much more true to life. It is romantic and beautiful and quite unlike anything I have seen sense (I added this to my queue after I fell in love with the male lead in Hannibal Rising…this guy is AMAZING)


11. Shooter - A great guy flick with a smoking hot lead//having known more than one military type, this I would chalk up as more realistic than others I have seen where former soldier saves the world. Loved the story line.


12. An Inconvenient Truth - This should be mandatory for everyone on the planet, period.


13. The Last King of Scotland - remarkable movie about an interesting time in the world, for anyone that remembers the clips on the news, it brings them to life


14. Becoming Jane - any Jane Austen reader should check this out…it explains EVERYTHING


15. Alien vs. Predator - two of the best movie monsters EVER-what's not to love?


16. The Fifth Element - It was with this movie I fell in love with Chris Tucker…lol


17. Much Ado About Nothing (Branagh/Thompson version) - I love all the movies they did together but this one was when you could tell they were very deeply in love/hands down one of my favs of all time



18. Romeo and Juliet (Baz Luhrmann version) - this movie makes me drunk every time I watch it…as a sensory person, I get so caught up in the words, music, costumes, and love that I barely notice when the movie ends…"a curse on both your houses" is my favorite scene in this movie…remarkable!



19. Eddie Izzard: Dress To Kill - if you don't know Eddie, you should (check him out with Minnie Driver on FX's The Riches) he has many specials on disc, but this is the best and it all leads to the end, a scene in French, that is to die for!



20. The Italian Job - I love all the Ocean's movies but this one is an Ocean's movie with a bit more…oh yeah, notice two Marky Mark movies on the list…lol





Grab your Junior Mints and have fun!

Many Thanks

funny how the thing i found was not what i thought i was looking for
but exactly what i needed.

it is a strange and wonderful moment and i am holding tightly
until i feel i can relax without letting it go.

in my head i have stopped asking questions and amazingly
the answers are finally coming.

i am lucky to live this life of pain, redemption and joy but
only just realized it when the bliss overflowed.

i am grateful, and i say it, every single day for every single thing
from the bumps in the road to the smooth parts of life.

i am blessed to be on this journey and i feel like running,screaming,
dancing, singing, praying in gratitude for every piece of it.

Thank you to the universe for my utterly perfect life...:)

BLAH

I don't know what it is about the end of summer, but I always feel like I would rather be doing ANYTHING but what I am doing right now. I am seeing this general restlessness creep into the lives of my friends and families and it made me stop today and think, what is this about? Does everyone get this way this time of year?


I generally look forward to cold weather. Two days ago it was 116 degrees here and I thought, man, I am ready to move. I love that school is about to start and there will be sharpened pencils and tighter routines and frost on the ground in a few short weeks. But why is all that autumn goodness always preceded with just a yucky mood? Do we morn the lazy days of summer? Do we start to evaluate our year and realize, shit, I haven't accomplished anything I set out to? Or is it a case of one season giving way to another and we just notice this time more than the others?

Weirdness.

I got nothing for you. Tell me what you think.

In the interim, go visit Gingatao and get some lyrical loveliness.

Peace and Chicken Grease.

Shell

You need to relax

"Good evening."

cocks head to the side because this is truly odd monkey behavior for when I return from slaying dragons all day.

"Good evening Little Monkey."

"Here, this is for you."

presents two 3" x 5" note cards taped together that say:

Spa Treatment Services
Gift Card $200
Schedule today at 817-xxx-xxxx (insert Little Monkey's cell number here)

"Wow, thanks."

"You have to call for an appointment."

"Ok. Is it necessary for me to call you if I am in the same room with you?"

"Yes. You have to schedule."

picks up phone and calls

"Thank you for calling the treatment center, this is Little Monkey, would you like to schedule services?"

"Yes, massage and manicure please."

"Okay, you are on the schedule. Call again soon."

hangs up cell

"When do we get started?"

"Tomorrow."

"Tomorrow? I just called and scheduled!"

"Oh, you have to call from work to schedule if you want services the same day."

mouth hangs open as Little Monkey sashays out of the room



Yeah, no kidding. As an update, spa treatments have been updated today to include fresh squeezed lemonade. WTF you ask? Me too. We were nerds growing up and played school. I even came up with the GENIUS idea to tape record lessons so I could force my sister to sit still and do the work without me actually having to stay in the room. I KNOW, awesome right? So I can't figure out if this is because I take her to get her $10 polish change occasionally or if I just really look like I need it. Guess it doesn't really matter...funny though, what kids perceive.

Today it rains

in my head, its grey and cloudy
raining every so slightly
enough to obscure the view

my hearts to blame
for bringing me here
and not letting me let go

i feel the mist on my mind
get lost in the cold, wet drops
try to forget lost time

i don't know what to do with this
what it means
so i will just let it be

It's the simple things

If you look closely, you can see the faint image of a second larger rainbow off to the side. Stunning. Man, today is going to be a great day! :)

Over my Shoulder

Time stands still and I wait for it to catch up,
Looking over my shoulder, trying to decide if it's following me or hiding away.
I want to grab it, hold it in my hand, slow it, seize it,
Somehow tame it.
It has left so many soul scars and calling cards around my eyes,
I wonder if it will recognize me when it catches up.
This is the best time, I want to embrace the walk,
I want it to exist closer, trusting that I will take care with it's fragile wings.
I didn't know before if you held tightly it crumbles.
I didn't know if you looked back too much for it, it would become hard to see.
With patience I sorely lack, I will wait for it to catch up,
I will beg, on my knees to God, to make it walk slowly.
I promise to treat it gingerly now, so I can drink it all in.

Life is Good

It's strange to think that when it seems too early for some things, they really show up right on time. This weekend marked the eighth annual celebration of little monkey's arrival in this lifetime. I was blessed to share it with some special people, including one that I had not seen in twenty something years. I have thought of little else but him since July 6th when I was awakened by a dream I didn't quite understand. It is both comforting and scary the things you know when you are young. I didn't know a lot but I knew things about myself, what I liked, what I needed, what would make me happy, that life managed to systematically crush out of every part of me. I didn't understand any of that at the time, but, I did know things. It seems so foreign to have someone know every part of who I am and who I was and be completely accepting of that. I feel like I am still dreaming.

I want to figure out how to help my kids both trust their instincts AND make rational choices. Geeze. No problem right? UGH. I am hoping I lead by example because God knows, I don't always know the right way to do something. I am trying to listen to what that small part of my soul that stopped speaking loudly a long time ago has to say. My greatest wish for birthdays and beyond is that they all learn to have faith that time can heal all pain and bring extraordinary joy sometimes at the same time. The key is being awake to see it happen. Man, I am so ready for this.

In my dreams...

the strange thing is that though i feel it, i don't show it often on the outside or i get in this twisted game of acting precisely on the outside how others want me to be, even if the inside detests the charade.

life is so short. we waste so much time. each day brings so much magic yet most people brush right by it, missing countless opportunities for growth, goodness, love...it doesn't make sense.

when i close my eyes i imagine there is a way to be the thing you are and not what everyone expects. i dream that the stinging disappointment of the things i didn't do to make others happy is over shadowed by all the people i did manage to inspire, uplift, love and urge to smile. my heart hopes and longs for it to be okay one day to not move so fast, to enjoy the air, sounds, tastes and song of each life step along the way.

i wake up a little more each day, hanging tightly to those things i only see when my eyes close late in the night and walk, slowly, into the sun. it is brighter than i imagined and its glow fills my soul. i am finally home.

WTF is the purpose of a gnat?

So I head to my car, the sun is barely up and my car is wet and covered in a family of gnats that decided that was their spa destination vacation. I am watching them, completely grossed out, partying like rockstars in the droplets. I recall a recent walk around the block with two girl monkeys in which we were mobbed by said rockstars and were picking them off us like the gorillas at that the zoo. This begs the questions, what the fuck is the purpose of the gnat? I mean I get the whole circle of life crap but really? And the way its pronounced? Really, they should be called G Nats and have a group or a posee or something. They are just so annoying...almost so much that it conquers my absurd ant phobia. Yeah, really. If there is an ant in the effing room, it bites me. UGH.

Good Times

I've met Jesus, he's a trucker.

This weekend, I realized how lucky I am to have so many amazing people in my life as part of the spiritual journey I am on. I think it's rare in any life if you can continue to evolve and manage to push away the pressures that society, our employers, our families, and our own demons place upon our hearts and souls. I have been trying to work through some worries I have about Littlest Monkey and I was reminded of a story I haven't told for 8 years. For some reason, it seems necessary to tell it now.

Christmas of 1999, pregnant and sick, Monkey's dad and I were headed to Houston to pick up the two oldest monkeys and traveling the very congested I 45. I had been sleeping as we left Dallas because it seemed like that was the only thing that pushed away the churning in my stomach. My experience carrying Little Monkey was much like eating cotton candy and jalapenos all day, sweet and fluffy but a lot of fire. Today, the fire overrode the fluffy in a big way. I am not really sure why I woke up and a million times over I have considered how that single moment, sitting straight up from a dead sleep, quite possibly saved Little Monkey's life. Immediately, I knew what was necessary.

"I need you to pull over."

"Are you okay?"

"Right here, just pull over for a few moments."

The rest stop seemed to appear out of no where. I got out of the truck and went in to pee, because as you know, pregnant women can pee on five minute intervals. Once I had managed to relieve the bladder receiving such uncomfortable pressure, I returned, hopped back in and buckled up.

This is another moment, in recounting this story where I always crave the details that escape me. How long was I at the rest stop? How long were we back on the road before I met Jesus?

I don't remember the clock time, but I can tell you the answer as clear as day.

Just long enough.

When I say that the next 30 seconds played out like a movie. I am not exaggerating. On the north bound side, I saw the exact point in which she hit the gravel on the left shoulder and lost control of the car. I quickly pointed this out as little monkey's dad was changing lanes from the right to the left. I don't know why, there was not a car in front to pass, yet he was compelled. I watched as the car turned in slow motion, end over end so quickly that there were no options for corrective measures. At the precise moment of the lane change, her car flew over us and landed upside down EXACTLY where the truck had been. In this whole journey, had anything varied by 30 seconds, I would have been crushed underneath that car without ever meeting the amazing child I carried.

The next 30 seconds, unlike the previous in slow motion, played out in fast forward. A trucker pulled up behind the scene to block traffic and got out with blankets for her. We and the car behind us, pulled over to assist. In a brief exchange with the other driver, we discover his back window had shattered from flying bone fragments. There were no other drivers out front. After an argument with monkey's dad, I was restricted to the general area of the vehicle and not at the scene because he was concerned what seeing it up close and personal would do to me, and by default, monkey. I stood there in such disbelief as I watched the most callous drivers edge around the 18 wheeler and flip us off because we were inconveniencing their holiday schedules. There were pieces of her every where, littering the asphalt and being treated like grains of sand amongst broken glass, twisted metal and Christmas packages that had flown from her backseat. I kept thinking in my head, what the hell am I going to do, I have to pick these pieces of her up? Some one loves her, someone shared a life and has hopes and dreams with her and people are driving over it like it was nothing. The EMTs arrived, in a similar callous fashion, jumped out of the ambulance laughing, taking their time and in general were uninterested in the same questions that were plaguing me. Unfortunately, they bored the brunt of my pain and anger on the side of the highway that day.

"You guys are stepping on pieces of her! Is there no one that is going to reach down and pick up these pieces?"

They stopped laughing and looked at me. I had no idea until later that they already decided she was dead. I was mortified. Maybe I was hysterical, I don't remember. I wasn't crying but I kept wondering if I was saying any of these things out loud or if it was in my head.

"It will be alright."

I was going mad. I jumped because everyone that stopped was already on the scene. I turned around and noticed an 18 wheeler parked on the hill ahead of the truck and a long haired, bearded, barefoot trucker standing in front of me. Neither he nor the truck had been there before.

"He wouldn't let me go up there.". I said, pointing an angry finger in the direction of the wreckage. "I am pregnant." I offered as explanation for the slight I felt at the moment.

"It will be alright.". He said again as he walked, barefoot across the broken glass, like it was water.

I was confused. None of this made sense. He kneeled beside her for what seemed like only a few moments and then he walked back to me. I was so angry at these people, so confused about what was happening, too idealistic about possible outcomes. The trucker came back to where I was standing.

"She went in peace. It will be alright."

I searched his face like trying to understand a foreign language. No one of this was processing. He was so tall and looked like all the pictures a Southern Baptist would recognize of Jesus in paupers clothes.

"Take care of that baby. That is a special one. You will be alright."

It was as if the entire world exhaled. I realized that things were winding down, the road was clearing. I looked back up the hill to catch a glimpse of my roadside saviour but he and his truck were gone. Of course, I knew he had not had enough time to walk back up the hill. I knew there was no noise of a truck starting, no exhaust smoke, no air brakes releasing. Some how, a mind that couldn't accept one damn thing that happened on that stretch of I 45 that afternoon, accepted that.
We loaded back up and headed off and I couldn't speak for hours. I had hoped that when the sheriff took our contact information, someone from her family would call. I just wanted to tell them that someone cared about her, a small handful of people trying to change the world, helping one soul at a time.

I look back again, on the impending birthday of my special little monkey, and wonder whats in this lesson for me and whats in store for her. She has a comprehension that is sometimes above us all. She seeks the path of peace and healing. Sometimes I think she is too grown. One of her favorite things to do is to bounce into my room and ask me what I am praying for today. Last year, my sister gave me a box of little ceramic birds, each inscribed with a prayer, to use to remember what I am meditating on. Little Monkey wants to know each time they change what I am asking for. The last time she asked, my response was:

"I am praying for Joy."

"You need some Joy?"

"Yes, I do baby girl." I promptly burst into tears. She thought that was a simple request.

That afternoon when I came home, hanging on my doorknob to my room was a 3 x 5 index card with a hole punched in it and strung on ribbon. She had drawn a smiley face with a caption that said "I am so happy" and underneath in bold letters she wrote JOY. She never asked if I got it, never wanted the approval some of her art projects require, it was a simple, tiny answered prayer.

Much like Little Monkey herself.

I am so lucky, raising three fantastic kids that I find myself once again, on the side of the road, trying to understand the things life has hurled at me, that I am with a small group of people working to make life better for those around them, one soul at a time.

To Val, I so appreciate your love and support. I don't think I would be nearly as inquisitive, nearly as focused and nearly as engaged in building a new life for my family, had it not been for you there holding my hand, one step at a time.

To Krissy, thank you so much for such interesting conversation and being so open. I am so lucky to have met you while you are on a journey of your own.

To Kevin, I so appreciate the lessons in peace you have begun to teach me. I look forward now to sitting still, breathing deeply and knowing that all is right with the world.

To Beau and Susan, thank you for showing me that a house of worship can be a place for friends, fun and support. I would not have started a deep, soulful look at what I want my life to be had it not been for your demonstration of unshakable faith, even in hard times.

My children are so lucky to have the opportunity to know each of you and feel the difference you have made in the lives of their mom. I only hope that some day, I am able to provide such uplifting influence in the lives of each of you. I am so grateful for you all.

Devil Cats Rock

Nothing like being greeted at the back door at 5:45 AM by a talkative ghetto cat and a dead rattlesnake. Not exactly what I thought I would be doing when I let the dogs out but definitely better than coffee to wake you up quickly.
MEET MASA, AKA THE DEVIL CAT
Masa is a rescued scrappy ghetto cat that lived a previous life in a industrial manufacturing yard, surviving on leftovers and the kindness of undocumented workers. At the time, she was skinny as a rail with noticeable signs of abuse. From a couple of places she has been burned and hair won't go grow back to a broken back from being kicked or thrown, she is certainly been a survivor. The latter resulted in her last couple of vertebrae being crushed so her tail no longer can wag or raise. She came to live with us until we could find a home for her (I am already over loaded with two dogs and two old cats of my own) and so far, no takers. Compounding matters, she quickly enlarged to five times her original size because she was pregnant. We thought for sure they would not be born alive or at the least without serious problems. As luck would have it, as I am stepping on a flight to Chicago, a call comes from Judgemental Monkey (a whopping 14 years old at the time) who proceeds to deliver four furry things and save the life of the runt that almost didn't make it. (Jack is pretty, but not real smart and I had to rescue him again, six months later when he decided to jump in the jacuzzi tub full of water and couldn't swim...geeze).

The two girl cats were adopted right away but homes for Masa and her twin boys Jack and Harvey have eluded us. I can't keep them but I can't drop them in a shelter, at their ages (4 yrs and 2 yrs respectively) they will not likely be adopted. The expanding financial crisis in our country is also resulting in massive numbers of animals left in abandon homes or dropped off at shelters, all over the country.

Masa would be great as a companion for someone that has no other animals (she doesn't care for pets, she only really likes people) and the boys are so much fun but will be HARD to separate. (They sleep in a yin yang pattern and bathe each other still). Please give me a shout if you know someone that would be a good candidate for any of them. They have been raised as good liberals and I would like them to go to a house of the same...:)

BREATHLESS

It is not a secret that we are music nuts in our house. Consistently, one of the few bands we can all agree on is Better than Ezra. Middle Monkey has dubbed them "the happiest band in the world." This is funny to me because sometimes they sing about pain, unrequited love and the horrible things humans do but they capture so accurately the feelings attached to those things. They are amazing in concert and you should add that to your to-do list if they are ever in your area. Last night, tired as hell from 4 days of 2 hours of sleep a night, I cranked up the Ipod for a while and discovered how poetic and beautiful this song is. I don't think I have ever listened to it the way I did last night and felt compelled to share...

"Breathless"

Here you are now
Fresh from your wars
Back from the edge of time
And all that you were,
Stripped to the bone
I thought you'd want to know

That when you feel the world is crashing
All around your feet
Come running headlong into my arms
Breathless
I'll never judge you
I can only love you
Come now running headlong
Into my arms
Breathless

Lay down your guns
Too weak to run
Nothing can harm you here
Your precious heart
Broken and scarred
Somehow you made it through
I only ask that you won't go again

When you feel the world is crashing
All around your feet
Come running headlong into my arms
Breathless
I'll never judge you
I can only love you
Come now running headlong
Into my arms
Breathless

So glad to see you smiling
So good to hear your laugh
I think that you've found you even
Missed yourself
I'm only asking this because I think that
Truth be told
Oh, you'll never go again
Again

When you feel the world is crashing
All around your feet
Come running headlong into my arms
Breathless
I'll never judge you
I can only love you
Come now running headlong
Into my arms
Breathless
Breathless

Just beautiful...go here and check out "Breathless," letting the words fall on your soul like rain.

For the same reason, I love Blue October (check out "Hate Me") and the Burden Brothers (check out "Beautiful Night" and "Still").

Middle Monkey is all grown up now!

This MySpace bulletin greeted me this morning:

Boys are STOOPID.


Like, the kind of stupid you have to spell wrong.



:P


Hit me up.



♥


I am so proud! She finally figured out what I have been trying to explain to her since puberty...hehehe. I wish I learned that at her age.

It's too early for this...

I sat straight up in bed,

Trying to understand what's in my head.

It has been twenty years ago,

Since I left your smile and made it so.

Many things I wish I had said,

From when we last shared a bed.

So strange that now it rushes back,

To fill the spaces with peace I lack.

I learned a valuable thing today,

Sometimes truth never goes away.

Thanks but no thanks

"Darby is so cute, and look, here comes Jack." giggles inserted here "He is smelling Jack's butt!"

"Oh, that's just how cats say hello. Aren't you glad you aren't a cat?"

"Uh, yeah, because that is GROSS?"

"Can you imagine if you had to go to school like that? 'Ah hello, sniff, sniff.'"

big huge belly laughs inserted here

"Can Darby sleep in my room tonight?"

"Sure, just no smelling butts."


My bedtime stories are WAY better than yours...:)

WOW!

Somedays is just great to see something in the news that finally went well.

HOSTAGES FREED IN DARING RESCUE

For right now, all is right with the world. May those families be reunited with the joy they deserve and may they adjust to freedom swiftly.

The best of the best...

This morning I offer you the most important stuff that you must not miss...

Over at VetVoice they remind us that there is a pending VA investigation. Too much comes across in the news and it's easy to get pushed to the side. Do you know anyone that is a Veteran that is using or has used a VA hospital? Check the list and forward their link to any one you know that may have one of the listed senarios. It's important that they gain as much info as possible.

My heart breaks today for Tina and her willingness to share. For those of you that know of what she speaks, please offer her your love and support. She will need it so she can give that to her baby. She offers us peace and light everyday so it's time to give that back.

I ADORE the PostSecret project and have a book that I received as a gift. I was so happy to find that they have a weekly posting on line as well since I just can't get enough. There is something poetic about truth.

The week is almost over! Be good and love each other out there. PEACE!

Damn Good Dog get his Wings

I was profoundly saddened by the news of UGA VI's passing. For those of you that don't get SEC football, leave now. For those that do, I am reposting a blog I did about my granddad a few moons back who taught me the ways of a Georgia fan. Two more years and I can start looking for a house in Savannah. I can't wait!

God bless Jimmy Harper...

Many moons ago, my crabby granddad saw fit to teach me about football. My uncle played for UGA in the 70s and his parents had season tickets on the 50 yard line for 20 something years. From the time I could walk, he toted me around, making sure that I was wearing the requisite red and black, singing all the songs the Red Coat band did and loving UGA as much as the people that got to take him home after each game. He was the meanest man in the world to others but man, he loved me. Because of him, I love football.

For the many years we were apart when I lived in Germany, he methodically photographed every game, wrote notes on every picture and sent them to me with ticket stubs and programs. My favorite were always the Sugar Bowl tickets.

Granddad would have been happy to see the DAWGS in the Sugar Bowl tonight. And damn, I do look good in red and black...:)

That was one Damn Good Dog…

Joe Lieberman is a Tool

After many moons away, I am opting to jump back into my old Sunday morning routine. I was so sad that I cried over Tim's untimely passing but I still turn on the TV, because it's just what I do on Sundays. Imagine my surprise when flipping through, I find Lieberman campaigning in favor of McCain. What an ass. I already have an issue with McCain forgetting what his own party did to him in South Carolina, but come on Joe, you were one of MINE. It's insulting.

This is just like Young and the Restless...for those of us that have been around TOO long, aren't you just a bit confused about how exactly Michael is now an upstanding citizen after being a stalking freak? Or how about former stripper Nicki? Or even Victor that held what's her name in his "dungeon" in the basement? Crazy. Now I understand why politics is such a soap opera...

Fortunately, they had General Clark to balance things out. Now my affinity for both Clark and Obama is well known, but Lieberman makes me crazy when he starts listing all the potential consequences of leaving Iraq (this translates into fear, fear, fear).

I just have one thing to say...stop trying to sell me your bullshit. I am a military brat. I was a military dependant and I went through hell before my life was turned upside down, crushed, and given back to me in a pile to put back together alone. I have a degree in Government, I have been a delegate for county and state many times and a national delegate in 2004 to Boston. I have worked in campaigns and I have run them. I am working on a Master's Degree and will go on to teach the things I know. This is what your bullshit can't cover:

Everyone knows that lies got us into this mess and that the administration willing sold Powell down the river to get what they wanted.

The only weapons of mass destruction in the Middle East are owned by the US.

There was no plan to ensure the political, diplomatic and economic stability in the region.

There was no exit strategy.

There was no plan to take care of families back home or soldiers when they got in trouble.

There is no plan for ensuring the soldiers futures or transition to civilian life.

Dick is really Darth Vader.

Now McCain is giving lame excuses of why he doesn't support expanded education benefit to veterans. Are you afraid that expanded knowledge base within the armed services will mean people will tell you their opinion? That more will push the bounds of hierarchy and say hell no, I am not leading men and women into that? How can you be against educating people willing to die for this country?

It doesn't make sense.

You know what else doesn't make sense? The dismal percentage of registered voters that show up to vote on election day. This country routinely posts less than a 30% turn out for elections. WHY ARE YOU LETTING 30% OF THIS COUNTRY DECIDE WHAT HAPPENS TO US? If you don't vote, you can't bitch. If you do nothing I ever ask of you this year, consider this my one thing worth doing.

Embrace your right to BITCH. Get off your couch, volunteer for a candidate and show up to vote. We need everyone, everywhere. If you aren't registered, do so NOW. I care and work so you have the right to do whatever the hell you want. My biggest wish this year is that you decide to help me out a bit but getting involved and getting out the vote.

Embrace your right to BITCH. Oh, and consider sending Joe a message and tell him why he is such a tool...

I Should Have Been Nicer To My Parents

It was bound to happen sooner or later…sins of the fathers as they say. I am just beginning to sweat when a teenager says “Can I ask you a question?” so I anticipate the frequency of these types of things will increase. Routinely I go down my list of “How bad can the question be?” and go through the first few in my head:

“How old where you when you had sex the first time?”

“Have you ever smoked weed?”

“Did you drink alcohol before you turned 21?”

There are others, ones I won’t recount, nor will I give my reasons for being concerned. I will, however, say that I was completely unprepared for finding out that my Little Monkey now has the ability to forge my signature at 7 years old.

No. I am not kidding.

Evidence was delivered to me via the “family mailbox” where monkeys are invited to write a note about anything they need to say but don’t necessarily want to talk about. It was attached to a note that said “Send Me A Note” and note was underlined several times to illustrate the bitter disappointment from the 7 year old that I hadn't caught up from all the correspondence she left me yesterday. (Stupid me, giving them a forum for self-expression…UGH. Now I get pressure to answer my emails in a timely manner AND hand crafted kid notes!)

Were she so crafty to get someone to let her pass a check, she could do so. If she wanted to skip school, go to the lake and break several laws for the 6 hours she should have been in class, she could write her excuse note, turn it in, and be done with it. If she had money for a stripper class, she could sign up for said class AND sign the authorization from her mom to allow a minor to take a stripper class.

They would all think I had an affinity for red pens. I could see that, it is, after all, my favorite color.





Many moons back, in one or another of my political incarnations, I had to get stamps made as an election judge. Here in Texas, the judge has to sign the ballots, in red. To speed the time folks have to wait (and indeed during a general election when we want to get every good liberal a chance to cast a vote) you have self-inking stamps so that you can go quickly.

Apparently Little Monkey’s craft cabinet is the safe harbor for all self-inking stamps who are not currently being used else where. There I also found a “work completed” stamp which strikes me as stupid because if your work is completed, don’t you KNOW it’s completed? I suspect this must have belonged to the other parent.

So be advised, should you receive some odd message from me with my signature in red, disregard it. It’s from the cheeky Little Monkey.

Nothing Weird Here

"I am calling to see what's going on for weird time."

"We aren't doing anything weird."

"Why not?"

"Cause we are tired..."

she cuts me off here because she knows where I am about to go next.

"We aren't SLEEPY TIRED, we are just TIRED TIRED."


I am getting old. I thought tired tired was sleepy tired. Apparently that is incorrect, per Little Monkey.

Just in case you needed to know.

UPDATE: It's gonna be a great day!*

Luckily there's too much good stuff out there for me to have to work too hard on a morning I don't feel like it...

From my fav site EVER, Heather shows us why it's probably not a good idea to do a cleanse (or at least talk to a doctor first). Thank God I haven't started it yet...I almost forgot that stupid lemonade and pepper one that made me puke for two hours just on the first day. Gonna keep my toxins a few days longer, thanks!

For a daily dose of beautiful, stroll over to Gingatao. This is one of my favorites because it's just so sweet.

This one made me laugh my ass off just cause Kinky is so damn funny no matter what he does. Texas politics, gotta love it.

Make it a good one, I'm gonna!

*so lunch was AWESOME, so far, so good...lol

I think I can, I think I can, I think I can

This is the BEST week of my life...

Of course, I am projecting here. It's halfway over anyway so trying to make the last part swing upwards is not foolish is it? Maybe I am foolish but trying is better than sitting back and accepting failure. I'm not good with giving up. I suck at it actually. Maybe I need a lesson, anyone good at that? It makes me sick to think of it, resolving to walk away from a damn good fight...

So many moons have passed since the laughter,
Foreign as it struggles past my pride to exit.
Is it strained to those outside my head,
Those that can not feel the cringe inside my skin.
Still, I try,
I laugh and send those sounds to angels.
Still, I cry,
Seeing those tears have no where to go.
It must be tomorrow, when I wake full of dread,
That I let these things pass.
It must be hope, that visits me that day,
When I feel that sound escape my lips.
Tomorrow has the sound that I must embrace.

A Family of Nerds

It's okay, I am not afraid to admit it. I am a nerd raising little sarcastic nerdlets. Oh, you protest to much! How do I know we are a family of nerds? I submit to you this proof and you be the judge:

1. We rarely miss opening night on a comic book movie, in fact we write said opening days on our calendar.

2. I don't own several scarves, I own THE scarf, AND it's the one from the earlier seasons BEFORE the grey stripe was omitted from the pattern. (This must net me double nerd points, yes?)

3. Judgemental Monkey refers to every woman's purse as the TARDIS for the bizarre amount that one can fit into them.

4. Middle Monkey regularly carriers her lightsaber...again, double points for being a chick with a lightsaber I ask?

5. My next t-shirt purchase will be a joke about Mendel that most people won't get.

6. This weekend Little Monkey and I made Wookie Cookies. No, I am not kidding.

7. There are fights that ensue over the new issues of Game Informer when they arrive.

8. I have at least a few nerd links in my list...this is my favorite.

There is more but the time is short and my patience is waning. See, only a nerd would use that word.

Thanksgiving with Joe

Tonight Little Monkey and Middle Monkey declared mandatory movie night since the new Jonas Brothers movie came out. While I confess I do not have posters of any of the bros, I tend to get giggly right along with them. Earlier this year, I took them to Nokia to see them and I admit, they come dangerously close to Green Day in terms of putting one of the most amazing live shows I have ever seen. The movie is super cute, followed by a new music video of the same so catch it tomorrow on it's second night on ABC if you are so inclined.

The funny that derived from this was following the movie, a 20 minute conversation between myself and Middle Monkey (who believes she is destined to marry Joe) over our imaginary first Thanksgiving dinner with Joe at the table. Peep some of the highlights below:

"Thank you Jesus for the food we are about to eat and my daughter marrying Joe Jonas."

"Could you pass the turkey over to Joe, you really don't need any more."

"Joe, has anyone told you today how HOT you are?"

"Cranberry sauce Joe?"

"Woo Hoo, picture time, put Joe in the middle. Hey, move over, you are crushing his jacket. Give Joe some room to smile!"

"Have you gotten your serving of Joe Jonas today?"

"Joe, would you like to hold the remote during the game or would like to just stand in front of the TV?"

Good stuff. Go get yourself some Jonas. I recommend "Hold On" or "Hello Beautiful."

ONE FRESH WISH

Really bad things happen to good people. It is always going to be that way. Pain is a word that you think you know until it slices away parts of your life and soul. The idea that it will ever get better, that you can fix any part of yourself, that you could ever imagine feeling anything again is foreign. Often, just someone trying to get you to understand that from the outside vacillates between annoying and insane. I am not interested in any one's idea of what I am going through or how to heal. This pain belongs to me. I have to be the one to decide what to do with it.

Today I reread the first poem I ever had published and wept. That 15 year old had no idea what real, destructive, all encompassing pain was. She was still an optimist:

I'm surrounded by yesterdays,
Forever memories that don't fade away.
Constructing tomorrows from what used to be,
The most important to me.
Dreams that float in my mind,
No order of any kind.
Creating happiness from mere thoughts,
For happiness is always sought.
I, romanticist, as they say?
Well, my dreams are good today.

I was seeing life through a fairy tale lens. What amazes me still is that it took me 23 years to find out that is not what it is really like. How do you explain this stuff to kids? How do I help my kids, really my girls, not be so surprised about what life can do when they think they they have every single thing they ever wanted and love deeper than they thought possible? How do I inspire them to dream, be excited and accepting of the great things they are destined to? How do I pass on joy?

I have to convince myself that fairy tales are possible...even if optimism has eluded me all these many months past.

So I try. I really try. Some days, I am better than others. I try hard to push past the pain and learn a lesson EVERY SINGLE DAY. It is hard. It pisses me off, yet still, I get up and I really try. This week, while listening to The Secret audio version on my commute for about the 100th time, a story stood out, advice I decided to take. I won't bore you with the details but it was a gentleman that creates visualization boards, what he wants his life to look like, things he wants to have, the way he wants to live. Once he has those things, he creates a new one and thus far, the universe continues to reward his work.

What can it hurt? I crave the bliss and hope of an idealistic, positive person. I desire the ability to give into my wants and strike a balance between impulse and restriction. I have new places to visit, new foods to try, new things to learn, new friends to meet...and peace. I am thankful for the peace that is headed my way. I can't wait to relax and breathe. That is my one fresh wish.

Scribble Cookies

Ancient Mommy Secret to keep busy during the summer...make scribble cookies! We save our broken crayons in a basket until we have enough and then recycle them. The kids keep busy coming up with different color combos and I don't have to say for the third time "TURN OFF THE TV". Simple instructions:

1. Peel off paper, sort into muffin tin cups
2. Bake at 200 degrees for 30 minutes, check to ensure that all crayons are melted and remove from oven.
3. Let cool for one hour, pop scribble cookies out of the pan and COLOR!

ENJOY!

2:45 is weird time, be forewarned...

"What is it exactly that you are doing?"

"Being weird."

"Ok, I agree, why are you being weird?"

"Because it's weird time."

"When does weird time start?"

"At 2:45 in the afternoon."

"And when does it end?"

"At 3:15 in the afternoon."

"Good to know."

Sometimes, it's just better to walk out of the room. Seven year olds have a definite sense of how their worlds work, whether we agree with them or not. I am going to be checking the clock every afternoon though, this may explain A LOT!