I Should Have Been Nicer To My Parents

It was bound to happen sooner or later…sins of the fathers as they say. I am just beginning to sweat when a teenager says “Can I ask you a question?” so I anticipate the frequency of these types of things will increase. Routinely I go down my list of “How bad can the question be?” and go through the first few in my head:

“How old where you when you had sex the first time?”

“Have you ever smoked weed?”

“Did you drink alcohol before you turned 21?”

There are others, ones I won’t recount, nor will I give my reasons for being concerned. I will, however, say that I was completely unprepared for finding out that my Little Monkey now has the ability to forge my signature at 7 years old.

No. I am not kidding.

Evidence was delivered to me via the “family mailbox” where monkeys are invited to write a note about anything they need to say but don’t necessarily want to talk about. It was attached to a note that said “Send Me A Note” and note was underlined several times to illustrate the bitter disappointment from the 7 year old that I hadn't caught up from all the correspondence she left me yesterday. (Stupid me, giving them a forum for self-expression…UGH. Now I get pressure to answer my emails in a timely manner AND hand crafted kid notes!)

Were she so crafty to get someone to let her pass a check, she could do so. If she wanted to skip school, go to the lake and break several laws for the 6 hours she should have been in class, she could write her excuse note, turn it in, and be done with it. If she had money for a stripper class, she could sign up for said class AND sign the authorization from her mom to allow a minor to take a stripper class.

They would all think I had an affinity for red pens. I could see that, it is, after all, my favorite color.





Many moons back, in one or another of my political incarnations, I had to get stamps made as an election judge. Here in Texas, the judge has to sign the ballots, in red. To speed the time folks have to wait (and indeed during a general election when we want to get every good liberal a chance to cast a vote) you have self-inking stamps so that you can go quickly.

Apparently Little Monkey’s craft cabinet is the safe harbor for all self-inking stamps who are not currently being used else where. There I also found a “work completed” stamp which strikes me as stupid because if your work is completed, don’t you KNOW it’s completed? I suspect this must have belonged to the other parent.

So be advised, should you receive some odd message from me with my signature in red, disregard it. It’s from the cheeky Little Monkey.