Just take a simple Wiffle ball bat and chase after young children beating them on the head once you catch up. It doesn't harm them that badly and the sound alone of the hollow smacking noise is enough to relax even Mr. Uptight McAngrypants.
This is from one of my FAVORITE cyber-places, Funny or Die. If you haven't visited Funny or Die yet, it's a must. While you are over there, sign up for the newsletter so you will get little nougaty balls of funny delivered straight to your email box! They also include their favorite links...this week, check out Cute Overload I dare you to go over there and NOT go "AWWWWWW..."
And if that's not funny, check out this string of text messages from 3-Oh-I-Need-A-Candy-Bar-'Clock:
"Hey Harris, give me my Cliff back. I am totally diving."
"Wait, let me puke it up and DHL it back to you."
"Never mind. Found almonds and some dark chocolate. You should put that on your blog though."
"LOL, what? Puking it up? It actually wasn't that great. I may hurl it up anyway."
Okay, at 3 in the midst of a massive blood sugar drop, that was some funny shit.
Laugh Forrest or I will take out my Wiffle Ball Bat...